Here’s a mom’s-eye view of those adolescent years

While I consider my life to be fairly uneventful on a grand scale, it seems to be full of interesting aspects and experiences as I go through every stage, and I find it all one, great-big

education:

• Growing up as an only child on a farm outside of Dallas, Oregon;

• Being the first person in my family to graduate from college;

• Seeing my father suffer from a stroke that forever changed his and mom’s lives;

• Landing a job at OSU that evolved to a full-fledged career that I enjoy to this day;

• Marriage;

• Having a son and daughter;

• Divorce;

• And through it all enjoying the good health and fortune that has allowed me to travel to places that have opened up my eyes to the vast diversity that exists in this world — and learning to embrace that diversity as one of life’s greatest gifts.

Variety: It really is the spice of life, you know?

If I were to pick just one interesting aspect out of the many, I would have to pick the one that I’m experiencing at present: Raising a teenage daughter.

When Megan, my little red-headed bundle of joy, came into my life almost 16 years ago, I mistakenly envisioned that as she grew up she would naturally become more independent, making my role in her life progressively less important.

After all, babies have continuous physical, emotional and developmental needs that must be met, and teenagers are more capable with regards to those needs, right?

Well, any parent who’s had a teenage daughter would no doubt react to this comment by laughing hysterically.

In reality, now more than ever my daughter needs me physically, emotionally and developmentally.

Physically, she needs my guidance regarding nutrition (“No dear, jerky, cheese curds, Tootsie Rolls and Dr. Pepper do not comprise the four main food groups!”); sex (uncomfortable silence); and exercise (“get off the computer and go for a walk!”).

Emotionally, she needs my support for those boyfriend breakups, acne breakouts and communication breakdowns.

Developmentally, I’m there to ensure that she follows through with her responsibilities such as chores and schoolwork, and to ensure that she’s exposed to as many other aspects of life the world has to offer outside of her provincial world of friends, online chatting, hair products, emo bands and the latest Chuck Norris jokes.

In all seriousness, as my daughter grows I embrace the fact that my guidance, vigilance, patience and love are necessary more than ever.

It’s my job to know where she is at all times and to allow her as little opportunity as possible to be faced with drugs, sex and

alcohol — and to be sure to discuss these issues with her on a continuous basis.

I keep my nose,

eyes and ears open at all times.

I know every corner of her room and what’s in it.

I make sure parents are in attendance at the Sweet 16 parties.

The ever-popular term “that’s gay” is not allowed in my presence because I find it offensive and insensitive.

I made her take her driver’s permit test (it took two attempts) because I don’t want her to be 18, depending on her friends to transport her from place to place.

I read her e-mails and chat logs.

I let her invite her boyfriend over but make sure that I’m always there and that they are in full view at all times.

Does all of that sound controlling? Does that sound like a mom who doesn’t want her daughter to learn from her mistakes?

My daughter has the rest of her life to be in control and learn from her mistakes. But for now, she’s my responsibility and I take it seriously.

I have the privilege to be a mom to an intelligent young lady who looks up to me, and I refuse to be responsible for anything that will allow her to fall so hard that she can’t get up.

Kelly Kozisek lives with her family in North Albany.

Kelly Kozisek

Age: 43.

Residence: North Albany.

Occupation: Procurement supervisor at Oregon State University.

Family: Daughter Megan and son Nick; parents Ted and Judy Kozisek.

Hobbies: Gardening, running, traveling, listening to Jimmy Buffett music (she’s seen him in concert twice).

Misc.: Top three fears are public speaking, snakes and flying in small, single-engine planes (and, she says, “I don’t feel the need to overcome them.”)