For those of you who haven't been following the Ellen saga this week, let me fill you in. Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres adopted a dog from a rescue group. When, even after training and obedience work, the dog didn't get along with Ellen's cats, she gave the dog to her hairdresser.

The hairdresser has two pre-teen girls that fell in love with the dog, Iggy, a Brussels Griffon mix. But because Ellen had signed an agreement to return the dog to the rescue should she be unable to keep it, the rescue group took the dog from the hairdresser and her family.

The co-owner of the Mutts and Moms rescue group, Marina Batkis, received negative feedback and even death threats after DeGeneres explained what happened on her show and appealed to the group to return Iggy to the family that loved him.

But to no avail: Batkis' group will not adopt dogs to families with children under 14, and the hairdresser's children are 11 and 12 years old.

"If Ellen wants to place dogs and decide what's a good home, then she should start her own rescue group," Batkis told a television show.

"But I'm the one doing this and I know what I'm doing."

It's true that rescue groups and organizations need to screen potential homes and make sure they're not sending animals into abusive or neglectful situations. But this case really exemplifies an over-the-top attitude to doing adoptions.

Was the group right to take back the dog from its new home?

Certainly, it was legally able to do so. DeGeneres signed a contract that said she would not re-home the animal herself. Most rescues do require this, so DeGeneres was wrong not to communicate her intentions to Mutts and Moms. And the rescue group has a policy of not adopting to homes with children under 14, so clearly the new home was not suitable under their regulations.

But please, let's have some common sense. Instead of looking at the age of the girls in the family, let's consider their behavior. Are they compassionate? Do they treat the dog well? Can they be responsible for a pet?

Many rescues have fairly strict guidelines for some things. When I adopt a rabbit out to a new family, I want to make sure they're going to house the rabbit in a suitable location with shelter and protection from predators. I want to make sure they can afford to feed the animal and purchase supplies for it as needed. And I want to find a rabbit that's going to be a good match for the family.

Sometimes there simply aren't rabbits available that will meet their needs.

But if you had already adopted and couldn't keep the pet then I, like many rescuers, would be pleased to have you line up a suitable new home and inform me about the change.

When that happens, a rescue organization can contact the new family and review the needs of the pet with them. They may do a home check and go through the same process they would with a new adopter. And in most cases it works out fine: I believe that the majority of people who want to have a pet truly want to treat it right and give it the best life possible.

Let's look more closely at the issue of kids and pets. It's true that there are many small children who scream, run around and act aggressive. Such a child might scare many dogs. But there are dogs looking for homes who can tolerate and love children.

Likewise, there are many young children who can show compassion for animals and treat them appropriately. I wouldn't want a 5-year-old to be completely responsible for feeding, watering and walking a dog without parental supervision, but a well-behaved child can certainly be part of a family that includes a dog.

Without a doubt, there are kids aged 11 and 12 who can be wonderful companions to animals. Perhaps this specific group has such a rule because their dogs are in such demand that they have to narrow down the list of potential adopters somehow. But again, using common sense, a dog already settled into a home and doing well with children under 14 should stay in that home.

In the end, the rescue groups can make whatever rules they want. And perhaps there really was some circumstance that made this family unsuitable for Iggy. Yes, the rescue does have the final say. It just wasn't a very kind or smart move on their part, if the home was at all okay, to remove a dog that was already established with a new family.

Don't rule out independent rescues - they're great places to find the perfect pet for your family. But understand that most rescuers want the animal to find a forever home and are willing to spend some time with you ensuring that outcome. And pay close attention to their rules. If you can't follow them, find another place to get a pet.